That being engaged feels a little weird. Because you knew, have known for a while now, that you two would get married, but suddenly now there’s a ring to prove it. Because talking about the prospect of a wedding before the ring seems assumptive and off-limits, but after receiving this piece of jewelry, it’s suddenly okay.
That picking out a wedding dress will be a confusing, amusing, emotional trip. That the more you look at dresses the more confusing it will get. That it’s okay to practice dancing in the wedding dresses, but only if the bridal shop is empty, aside from you and your sisters, and the employees are doing their homework at the front register. That if you feel crazy, you are doing something right. That you will eventually find a wedding dress that is completely and 100% you.
That it’s painful to have a long distance relationship when you are engaged. But it won’t be long before this period ends and the next one begins.
That planning your wedding isn’t the only thing going on in your life at any moment. Yes, real life is still a thing. But it’s okay because you can use your wedding as ‘event planning’ experience in your next interview.
That the conservatory, which you select as your reception venue, will ask you if you would like to host an ‘animal ambassador’ such as an armadillo or invertebrate. They will send you a detailed pamphlet with a lovely photo of a bride and groom standing next to a sloth.
That your bridal shower will feature embarrassing artifacts from your childhood such as school photos, handwritten Christmas lists, and thank you cards. That there will be tiny figures of your groom taped everywhere. That you will definitely take home the tiny groom figurines and keep them forever.
That you will probably break a nail days before the wedding because of moving furniture and unpacking boxes in your new apartment. That you will probably make a big deal about this. You might say, “Why can’t I ever just look good?”
That your bachelorette party will be sort of bitter sweet because the squad will never be the same now that people are getting married and moving away. That you will definitely have to guess who gave you what underwear, and you will be surprised to find that your innocent little sis gave you the thong that says, “Not tonight Chris!” That your other under-aged sister will try her hardest to get everyone really drunk and that she’ll be slightly disappointed that nobody will start dancing on tabletops.
That pre-wedding weekend brunch with your mom, aunts, sisters, and grandma will mean creating a loud spectacle in the middle of Chianti as you open surprise gifts of lingerie. That other people in the restaurant will turn their chairs toward you in order to get a better look. That you will pretend to be scandalized by all this but actually this will be one of the highlights of your entire life.
That at your rehearsal dinner, your groom will tell everyone about the time coffee came out your nose. That your grandpa will be thrilled to give a speech, and he’ll be wearing fake sleeve tattoos and hopefully a superman tie for the occasion. What a riot! That you will watch excitedly as all your best friends from the bridal party finally meet each other, and you can’t help but hope they become friends with each other. That you will feel like time is moving faster than usual and you’ll wish there’s some way to slow it down.
That you will host a spa night before the wedding for all the bridesmaids to watch ‘Bridesmaids’ while doing facials. That pink nail polish will be spilled on the carpet of your new apartment. That your girls will spend the night before the wedding in your new apartment with you even if that means they have to sleep on the floor. This will mean everything to you, having this one last sleepover like you are back in the dorms or in that old apartment where you spent Thursday nights on the futon together just to sleep a few hours before 8 am class.
That the morning will be chaos. That your friend Jo will help you fix your hair after the hair stylist leaves, and she will assure you that every bride hates her hair on her wedding day.
That your four flower girls will completely steal the show. That they have been looking forward to this moment possibly even more than you have. That your little brothers could literally. not. care. less. about being ushers. That they wish they were at home playing video games.
That the whole ceremony will be a blur. It will be a mixture of looking out at all your friends and family to looking at your groom and thinking, “this is my husband.” That you will put pressure on yourself to remember every word even though that’s impossible. That after the vows are said, you might feel a little different, but you will wonder if you are only imagining it.
That your dad will give a speech even though he acted like he was going to blow it off. That he will actually sit at the computer and type out moderately coherent sentences and that you can only imagine how this must have looked with his two giant index fingers circling the keyboard for the right key. That his speech will be the most talked about moment of the whole evening.
That choreographing your first dance with your groom will make you realize that your life calling as a couple is to dance choreographed dances together. That you will entertain the idea of making this a youtube phenomena.
That it is possible to make your dad dance to “A Whole New World” (your absolute favorite song) even if he is normally a very stern man. Beer will make this a reality.
That your friend, Olivia, will catch the bouquet and become the It-Girl (and Jason Derulo will want to put her in the middle of a spotlight). That this song was already a thing among you girls (the DJ made a lucky guess) and that you will continue to listen to this on repeat long after getting home from the honeymoon. You will probably cry when you hear it because Olivia lives in NYC now.
Immediately after, the DJ will play Florida Georgia Line and you and the bridesmaids will all FREAK OUT because this is your song, as a collective group, and you know LITERALLY all the words. You will sing the remix version even though that isn’t what’s playing, “I got my windows down, and my radio up, got my radio up!”
That your friend Frances will go crazy on the dance floor, contrary to her usual personality, and she will yell in your face, “HOLY SH– LIZZIE YOU’RE MARRIED!” Of course, making your whole life complete.
That you have never experienced anything as amazing as being the bride on the dance floor. And you probably never will.
That meanwhile your groom and his groomsmen will be smoking cigars and getting some marriage advice from your dad and uncles. That your dad’s best piece of advice to your groom will be, “Always get the last word, Yes Dear.”
That your hair and makeup will be trashed by the end of the night, but you will be so proud of this fact because you rocked your wedding like a champion.
That you will leave the wedding, reluctantly, and be at the airport a few hours later like you ain’t ever gettin’ older. See ya! *mic drop
That the number one most important part of your wedding is to pick the perfect groom. That this part was easy for me because I had him picked out since I was about eighteen years old.
Chris and I have our generous and hard working parents to thank for the beautiful wedding celebration. Thanks Mom and Dad! Another thanks to our wonderful family and friends for their many years of support.